Monday, June 29, 2009

Never Can Say Goodbye.....

I am still spinning from the losses we've had to face lately. I think it finally hit me last night that Michael Jackson is gone. I don't go around exploiting his memory by spreading words and posting images that cannot fully capture my feelings. So, I remain quiet. I listen to old songs, especially from the Jackson Five era. I clearly recall moments of my own childhood so with his passing those moments seem to go with him. Yet, just the same, I cling to to them. The one song that touches me deepest is "Never Can Say Goodbye". There, in that song, are chapters of my own life. Chapters that will never go away. Just as Michael never really will.

I don't want to be angry but at times I cannot contain this emotion. I see the way the media is now "celebrating" him yet when he was ALIVE and needed them to stand by him they were harsh, cruel and hung him at the gallows. It was done to Princess Diana, too. Who are we to judge, especially now when so many reports are surfacing that the allegations were made because money was being made. It makes me sick!

So, I will take moments like these and fully embrace them because I will never allow a moment to pass without there being understanding, compassion, love, forgiveness... life is too short. When it's over, it's too late. All we have is here and now.

Then there is Farrah. I had her haircut. I had her dolls. Of all the "Angels" I wanted to be her. I should find the photo of myself with the "Farrah". I think you'd get such a kick out of it. I know I do. It meant so much to me to have that style. Oh, precious childhood, where have you gone?! A few years ago my "Mazzy" embodied her in a tribute piece I painted.

I watched the documentary she left behind and in those moving images and poet words of pain, suffering, love and passion I found pure hope and raw courage. Gone was the icon and there was the woman, REAL in every sense, that will forever inspire me. Inspire me in ways that REALLY matter most in life.

I pray they both rest in peace but that their lingering legacies move us forward and inspire us to do more with our own lives... no matter what!

Writing calms my senses and opens the doors of perception which allow the "ALICE" in me to step down into the rabbit hole, unafraid, and ready to conquer new moments, new beginnings, new experiences...

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